Before my amazing trip to Chicago and the East Coast, my job at Stanford came to an end. I have always had a very hard-working, responsible (maybe over-responsible) personality type. There have been a series of things that have happened both on the trip and upon returning home that seem to be clearly steering me away from taking another full time job. Right at the moment it seems clear that I am preparing to do more booktours, and give the book more exposure in this first year of its life.
There is also another thing which is happening and that is the creation of a day-long workshop which seeks to combine a satsang-like talking format with experiential work to communicate this work to people in an embodied way. I am drawing on all the experience of my years of working with groups from Findhorn to the present and am ready to take this on the road with me also. Just yesterday I made the initial contacts for going to the LA area and the Sacramento area, and am thinking that I would also like to do a loop into the southwest in August and September.
I am in new territory with all this, but am feeling very supported by the things that are happening in doing this work. Of course this could all change in a millisecond, but for now, it appears to be how life wants to move in me right now.
Right now I am at home doing all of the preliminary work and am unusually available for working with people in a telephone mentoring capacity if people are interested in that. When I’m actually on the road it will be harder, though not impossible to be there for people in that way.
Another book is also wanting to happen, and so my time is more than full as I rise to meet all of what wants to happen here. I also feel a bit like a genie that has been let out of a bottle, since I have all this time been working full time and doing everything else on the side. To tell the truth I couldn’t make this change until I had fully processed my personal survival stuff. I could say it took me a lifetime to do that, but it would also be valid to say that it has taken me six months of delving deeply into the human striving for survival as I find it in myself, and letting go to the point where now it feels like “whatever life wants of me, that is of course what I want also”. Including all the usual stuff about being a bag lady or being hungry or cold when I’m old. Whatever life wants of me, I’m ready. This is not pie in the sky. We are talking about dealing with major auto and dental bills just this week and how good it feels to let the energy of money flow as it will without fear. And there is also the beautiful gifts that are being given to me at the moment, from a wonderful break in my cost of living to the beauty of a deep meeting with a friend, or an email from someone touched by my writings. I can’t say all this without also noting the beauty of the world around me as an ongoing gift also. I am so very blessed.